Yet, even when you manage to put pen or brush to paper, there are other creative demons waiting for their chance to send you packing. As soon as you feel yourself warming up to the task, whispers of doubt will inevitably drift in. It starts innocently enough (“You don’t have time for this. There are so many other things you need to be doing.”), but the clamor becomes more insidious as you push the thoughts away to focus on the creative work at hand (“You can’t do this, you don’t have what it takes. This is stupid/ugly/pointless. No one else will like it. You will never be a real artist.”)
You are not alone in this struggle. Every artist, regardless of their perceived success, will wrestle daily with similar fears and doubts as long as they are pushing themselves to grow as artists. But having such fears isn’t the problem. Giving in to them is.
Realistically, you probably will not be the next Pablo Picasso. But so what? This fact doesn’t let you off the hook. The creative impulse inside you is there for a reason. Your job is not to understand it but to be faithful to it. Your job is simply to show up and do the work. What happens after that is beyond your control.
So how do you gain the confidence to face the blank canvas, the voices of fear and doubt, the perfectionist within? By embracing failure and giving yourself permission to create something ugly. Despite what you have been told, ugly art is good. Ugly art says, “Instead of pretending I am creative because I spent all morning on Pinterest, I showed up and did the work.”
To make good art, you first have to make bad art. And even when good art becomes the norm, there will still be days when nothing turns out like you thought it would and you’re tempted to toss it all in the recycle bin. But don’t do it. That crappy art you’re holding in your hand is precious. It is evidence that you are on a path of growth.
Thankfully, embracing the ugly is easy and it starts with not taking yourself too seriously. Remember how it felt as a child to scribble, to color, to create freely? Yeah, me neither. But that’s because we weren’t even thinking about it; it came naturally, without self-consciousness. Children create for the pure joy of it and we adults can too, but it takes a little work. It takes letting go of our expectations and letting the creative process be its own end.
Admire the way the paint swirls together on the palette; immerse yourself in color and ignore form; try something new without reading the instructions; make a mess and then make another mess right on top of the first; play and make having fun with art your only goal for the day.
The irony is that when you give yourself permission to make something ugly, you set yourself free to do your best work, which will be more satisfying as a result. And satisfying work breeds confidence to push through the blocks and keep creating. And the more art you make – good or bad – the more skilled you will become.