The perfect cocktails for glasses that were, heck, only 99 cents!
Have you ever been wandering around a thrift store or a garage sale and spotted a completely random glass that you kind of wanted, but at the same time didn’t know what to do with, prompting you to put it back on the shelf? Even if you haven’t, you probably wondered why anyone would buy such things and what they did with them once they brought them home.
Well, wonder no more, friends. Like true love, there is a drink for every oddball glass out there, and I’m here to prove it to you with five glasses we found at the Pueblo ARC on a Saturday morning. Only once you drink the perfect cocktail out of its perfect glass, will you truly come to appreciate the crap some people buy and then, many years later, try to get rid of. You will also come to understand alcohol’s ability to make practically anything seem better. It’s a win-win, really.
Note all the following drink recipes serve one. To double recipes, invite another person over and make them mix the cocktails while you relax.
Ozarks Souvenir Shot Glass
Cocktail: Diamondback Rattlesnake
Shooters are a great introduction to cocktails because of their low alcohol content. And really, what better way to relive your trip through the Ozarks–imagined or real–than by drinking? The diamondback rattlesnake combines the mineral richness of the Ozarks with a folksy sense of danger. Strike the banjos and start the square dance!
Diamondback Rattlesnake Cocktail Recipe
In a shot glass, layer, in order:
- 1/3 ounce Kahlua
- 1/3 ounce Creme de Cacao
- 1/3 ounce Bailey’s Irish Cream
- 1.5 tsps Bacardi 151 Proof Rum (a Kentucky tradition!)
Knock that sucker back and watch for snakes.
Cocktail: Monta Rosa
The monta rosa is kind of like a margarita, but with brandy instead of tequila. It’s quite tasty and the perfect drink for a mug that looks like it comes from the same place where you can get cactus glasses.
Monta Rosa Cocktail Recipe
In a glass with ice, combine:
- 1 ounce triple-sec
- 3 ounces brandy
- 1 tsp lime juice
Stir until mixed and chilled. Strain into an ice-filled mug o’boot.
When it’s ten degrees outside and you’ve just spent a long day skiing or mending fences, or whatever it is that drives people outdoors in the winter, you need something more than a beer or a hot toddy. You need to call in the big guns. Say hello to SchlehenFeuer, your new cold weather necessity. It’s actually a German version of sloe gin–an English liqueur made from the fruit of sloe, aka blackthorn, shrubs–but with a higher alcohol content than sloe gin, because Germans. This stuff will make you feel like you just snowbirded down to Mexico. You’ll be peeling off the long underwear and thinking winter isn’t really *that* bad after the first sip.
Hot Buttered SchlehenFeuer Cocktail Recipe
In a saucepan, combine:
- 1/2 cup apple juice
- 1.5 ounces SchlehenFeuer
Heat until steaming, but do not boil.
Once hot, stir in a knob of unsalted butter and some spices you like and have on hand. Examples might include raisins, allspice, grated ginger, cardamom, vanilla bean, cinnamon, or candied orange peel.
Add a spoonful or two of brown sugar to taste and serve.
Note that you can replace the SchlehenFeuer with sloe gin if necessary. Just keep in mind the cheap stuff is nothing more than grain alcohol, sugar, and food coloring, and will not have the same warming effects.
University of Southern Colorado 1994 Commemorative “Moonlight Mistletoe” Glass
Cocktail: The Italian Kiss
If you’re going commemorate a dance (with a glass?), you might as well go all out and do it with an era-appropriate drink that also evokes the sweetness of awkward dancing. Orange Julius was the Planet Smoothie of the ’90s, and the Italian kiss is a cocktail that brings back that nostalgic combo of sugar, citrus, and cream with an adult twist.
Italian Kiss Cocktail Recipe
Created by Dale Degroff, from The Essential Cocktail
In a cocktail shaker, combine:
- 3/4 ounce Galliano (Italian herbal liqueur)
- 3/4 ounce vodka
- 1.5 ounces orange juice
- 1 ounce heavy cream
- 1/2 ounce Orangecello (Limoncello’s more orangey cousin!)
Shake with ice until chilled. Strain into an ice-filled glass and garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon.
It’s All About the Kids Wine Glass
Cocktail: Hoolie Coolie Cantaloupe Cure
Some things are just bad ideas. For example, stamping “It’s All about the KIDS,” on a wine glass. Here kids, have some wine! Fortunately, not all cocktails have to be alcoholic. This refreshing, smoothie-like drink is something you can serve to the little ‘uns, or–even more important–make for yourself when you need a restart following a night of extremely poor decisions.
Hoolie Coolie Cantaloupe Cure Recipe
From Atomic Cocktails by Karen Brooks and Gideon Bosker
First, chill yo glass in the freezer, where it belongs.
Meanwhile, in a blender combine:
- 1 cup apple juice
- 2 tablespoons plain yogurt
- 1/3 cup cantaloupe chunks
- 2 ice cubes
Blend until smooth and strain into the chilled glass.
Garnish with a fresh herb like mint or basil. You can switch out the cantaloupe and apple juice according to your tastes–i.e., orange juice and peaches, or pears and pineapple juice. Go wild, kids!