As we all know, another year of the Oscars has come and gone and Leonardo DiCaprio still doesn’t have a trophy of a naked golden man holding a sword (?) to put on his glorious shelf.
Meanwhile, Macklemore won multiple Grammy’s in the rap category. Macklemore, who sang an annoying song about shopping at Goodwill, beat Jay-Z and Kanye West for rap album of the year. Macklemore has the worst haircut on the planet.
So, to recap: In 2014 we live in a world where the most annoying person in the entertainment world, Macklemore, has music’s highest honor, and Leo doesn’t have acting’s highest honor.
Welcome to hell, idiot.
I don’t know if I’d ever want to raise a kid in a world where Leo doesn’t have an Oscar, to be honest.
Me and some friends have had an ongoing debate for about a year about who’s had the better body of work between Leo and Brad Pitt. Obviously, if you look at pure acting talent, Leo is the clear frontrunner, as one debater pointed out.
Pitt, on the other hand, has been in some quality movies himself and is often regarded as more popular. And, Pitt now has an Oscar for his part (as a producer) in this year’s 12 Years a Slave.
Their common denominator, of course, is Jonah Hill. Jonah and Brad were solid gold in Moneyball, and Jonah hung dong and killed it with Leo in Wolf of Wall Street. If the three ever got together for a movie, Hollywood would be forced to go into retirement and would ultimately become a lost city ala Atlantis. The movie itself would spark riots and a war between good and evil would ensue, leaving only a small portion of actors still alive. Tales of heroism would soon become myth, and Hollywood and the art of film would be forgotten as a whole. But, at least Tyler Perry wouldn’t be able to make any more movies.
Obviously, the Pitt/Leo debate could rage for decades (at least for me and a few friends), and I plan on having a lengthy guest debate on Mostly Sheep in the near future.
But anyway, here are some things we learned about sports this week:
Penn State wrestling is the truth.
If you don’t watch college wrestling, you are missing out on something special. Penn State wrapped up their fourth consecutive B1G title (wrestling’s equivalent of the SEC in football), and they will probably win their fourth straight national championship in two weeks. What’s amazing about Penn State is Cael Sanderson, who took $1 million to leave his alma mater Iowa State five years ago to head the program at Happy Valley. Sanderson never lost a match in college, and he walked through the Olympics his first year on the senior circuit. The guy just doesn’t lose, and it’s absolutely fantastic for the sport.
Nathan MacKinnon is the truth.
The Avs drafted the kid number one overall in the draft last year, and the move has paid off in dividends. MacKinnon just broke Wayne Gretzky (hockey’s equivalent of Wayne Gretzky)’s consecutive point streak by an 18-year-old last week, and the Avs are right in the middle of a playoff run. Also, the day Mac broke the points streak, it was with an assist to beat the Red Wings. I hate the Red Wings.
In other things that happened news, I was at the Miley Cyrus concert last week, and it was fun. You know how sometimes people crowdsurf at concerts and they get free drinks and stuff? That’s not what happened at all, but there was an old lady on the train home that was the biggest Miley Cyrus fan in the joint. We’re talking a 60-year-old lady (at least), that drug her husband (even older) to a show where a girl in her 20’s sings about things that 60-year olds don’t do. She said she even liked Miley Cyrus more than her goddaughter. Whether that means she ranks her goddaughter below Miley, or she is just a bigger fan than her goddaughter, I don’t know. But the point is, don’t be a weirdo.
TV quote of the week:
“You eat three meals of tuna every day?”
“Well you gotta have three squares a day, right? Or three rounds, if we’re talkin about tuna dollops.” – Kroll Show
Photo from Mary Cybulski/Paramount Pictures