February 2010

So I walk in to the Pirates Cove and order a whiskey…

That’s right my little twinkies, I am secure enough with my heterosexuality that I can walk in to a gay bar and get me a drink.

January 2010

So I walk into First and Main and order a whiskey…

I am greeted by a very friendly bartender and a selection of top-shelf whiskies that I would never have placed on the “top shelf.” Me personally, I consider J&B and Cutty Sark to be on the barely average shelf, at best. They do have Jameson and Maker’s Mark as well, but again, those should be the norm not the top shelf.

December 2009 Issue

So I walk in to the Riverside Bar & Grill and order a whiskey...

The selection was a fine representation of mid-level "high-end" whiskies. I figured I've been drinking enough of the rotgut whiskies so I decided to splurge and get me a Glenfiddich. The barkeep was quite generous with the pour and the price was certainly reasonable.

November 2009 Issue

I was "Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce (I always thought that line was 'wrecked up like a douche') another runner in the night." Man seriously, I was ready to run out of the place it was so bright. But I donned my sunglasses and stuck it out for you, my valued readers.

Those of you who are first-time readers may not know this: I have a strong aversion to brightly lit interior spaces. I believe it destroys any chance of ambience or comfort. This joint was the worst yet. They were burning enough wattage to light up Invesco Field. I don't get it... I could understand if it was closing time and they were trying to clean up and prep for surgery, but this was prime bar time. Tone it down a little bit; I prefer suntans, not tungsten tans.